Do you think you have enough?
The idea of enough has been on my mind a lot this week. I have been gathering up thoughts and ideas about this for a while, from listening to podcasts, reading, absorbing wisdom from others and now I’ve built a picture in my mind that I want to share with you.
But first, a question for you: Have you got the scarcity mindset? Or one of abundance?
I heard someone talking about this on a podcast: That we wake up in the morning and already we are thinking “I didn’t have enough sleep”. We then go through the day with the same sort of thinking; “I didn’t have enough time to get ready this morning” “I haven’t got enough nice clothes to wear!” “I didn’t do good work today” “I didn’t spend long enough with the kids” And on it goes. (When I remember who said this, I’ll share but could have been Lynne Twist from The Soul of Money on the goop podcast).
I have been also started Chillpreneur by Denise Duffield Thomas who says that we don’t have to feel like there can be only one superstar in our field. There’s enough to go around. We don’t have to pit ourselves against women, but can work with them.
And again, another podcast (and again, my memory fails me and also that I drive whilst listening to podcasts) – but they discussed the patriarchal principles behind capitalism and business – which is; there’s not much to go around, and you need to fight tooth and nail for only a few resources.
And culturally, we often have a women bitching against women motif in the media and in our stories. Recently the stupid stories of the two royal princesses disliking each other.
All of this has been culminating in my mind for a while – and I’ve realised, that I have the scarcity mindset.
I have been aiming to work on this for a long time as I work with my money relationship, where the idea of scarcity and abundance is really popular for writers, podcasters, speakers on money and mindset.
But I had been trying to grow that mindset only for money. And then it hit me – it doesn’t work like that.
You either have a scarcity mindset, or an abundance mindset. Full stop. There is no sectioning it off for different areas of your life.
And of course – for you reading this, you can see how this relates to how you feel about food.
Dieting INDUSTRY thrives on the idea of ‘not enough’. First in the idea that YOU are not good enough as you are, in body and in self. As well as the manifestation of that through believing there’s not enough food for you, and the hunger you feel as you gnaw yourself to a smaller version of yourself where you want more and more but restrict and restrict in response to that.
And so, the idea that we have enough, and that there IS enough – is really a radical one. I have seen how it is not a thought, but has to be a feeling.
Every day, we can choose to see how we have enough.
We have enough:
Even if you feel that you could work on these areas and increase them, appreciating that you are surviving with what you have means you do, in fact, have enough. And not only surviving, but compared to populations in our world who are deprived these essentials by greedy, hoarding, power mongers who are driven by the ultimate scarcity mindset – then you are certainly abundant.
This is similar to having an attitude of gratitude. It’s the same sort of feeling. You look around and realize that you are blessed. Even if you are ill, poor, too fat to move, too unhealthy to thrive, you can still feel that right now you could see that there is abundance of what you need.
And that’s what it comes down to, doesn’t it? That we need.
We need so badly.
We need to be heard, we need to be loved, we need, we need, we need.
Fearing that we can’t meet our own needs, we cling, pinch, grab, hoard, beg, steal.
We forget that we can grow and be capable.
We forget, that if we open to it, there is enough out there. Enough space, enough resources, and that my giving, we increase wealth. By giving love, we are not deprived of it, but it grows around us.
And so, where am I going with this?
I believe it really is time for women to claim their power, because our power is in connection and not separation.
By giving to ourselves and giving to others, we naturally increase what is there.
Fashion, white goods, trends, business – they are all currently like long strangly tomato plants trying to grow in the shadows. Telling us that there is not enough, that we must do better, be the best, and beat the rest.
Forget it, it’s time we just let go of that shit, and realise we can connect to one another, and see that what we need is around us in abundance every day. You need love? It’s there.
Let me round this off with coming back to food.
You can never feel full with food, because the hunger you feel is not for food. The hunger you have is the wanting and the needing. Childhood stuff, trauma, misunderstandings, not being heard, being overlooked – who knows. We all have wants and deep needs. But now as an adult, you need to be the grown up you need for yourself. You need to learn to meet your own needs, and the only you may need the most – is to be heard.
Listen to yourself, open up and hold what you find.
When we grasp for more time, and we plan for tomorrow, we forget that one breath can last an age.
Seriously, I’ve been doing that this week. I’ve been taking one, long breath in and out, and it feels like I’ve dipped into ancient time that is forever. It goes on and on, and the more I think about finishing the breath the faster time becomes. One breath is an age unto itself! And so, if you think you don’t have enough time, it’s because you are uncomfortable with the time you have already. It is so long, and we panic and we rush to fill it.
Our hunger – it is too big, and we rush to fill it.
So, it’s time to be with yourself, in time and in hunger and to listen to yourself.