I’m not skinny. I’m not fat. I’m medium.

I’m not skinny. I’m not fat. I’ve always been medium. A medium sized body, a wonky face and chunky legs. I’ve studied my body and categorised it too many times over the years and compared myself to all the women around me more times than I’d like to admit.

There is a culture out there that pits women against women. And so it was normal for me to look at how I stacked up against the competition. This was exhausting! Because there wasn’t actually any winners in the end. I’m glad I managed to learn the lesson earlier on in my life, but I still wish I could have learned it earlier. I wish we can teach our young girls that there is no race, no competition, no judgement that really matters anyway. Life isn’t stacked in lanes and lines, but it’s big, and expansive and requires creative mess. No boxes. They don’t exist. Unless you think they do. There is no right way to look and there is no competition or prize for looking a certain way.

I can tell you that the more you learn to accept yourself and stop trying to compare yourself to others, the less you really care about all those things anyway. So the only judgement that matters is yours. How do you feel? What do you like? Does it feel good, does it feel like you are reaching for growth and the big life? These are the questions and answers that will matter when all is said and done.