Quiet crisps are dangerous.
You’ve been warned.
WOMEN! You do not need to be quiet. You do not need to munch silently, you don’t need to pretend you don’t want to lick your fingers, you don’t need to purse your lips, and flutter your eyelashes when all you really want to do is fucking tip the bag of salty leftover goodness into your wide open mouth.
Open you arms, be loud, be here, say WHAT? as you splutter orange-wigged, arse grabbing, twonks in the face with a spray of peppery crunches.
I mean – after the wave of #metoo where women are taking a stand, are we really so backwards that we still insist that women just SHUT UP.
Be loud, open your mouth and say it proud;
I AM HERE.